Spiritual Bullying

So much of wisdom is found in the tension between two true things. For example…

True thing #1: we benefit from listening to the wisdom of people we trust.  

The book of Proverbs is filled with sayings like these - For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers (11:14) - and we see over and over in the gospels that what Jesus is looking for is not perfect people, but those who are teachable.

True thing #2: people are fallible, and we’re also each invited to listen in to the gentle, life-giving nudges of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Christian psychotherapist Chuck DeGroat offers this word of caution: “... even well-intentioned people can pressure others to override their nervous systems in the name of something they value as important: emotional growth, justice-seeking, relational participation, spiritual growth, and more.” - Autonomous Bullying, Chuck DeGroat

When we feel a sense of tension or even impending violation based on the counsel we receive from someone, it’s worth listening to and thinking about. What are we being invited to learn from our own resistance? Maybe we’ll realize our advisor is right, and there’s something holding us back we need to deal with. But maybe we’ll realize that the advice we’re being given just doesn’t match what we’re hearing for ourselves, deep down in our own souls.

Scripture also tells us:

“… When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.” (John 16:13) The Spirit of God is reaching out to you, not just your advisors. Your insights matter, too.

“God’s kindness leads us to repentance.” (Romans 2:4) Does the voice you’re listening to feel kind even if challenging, loving and life giving, showing you a way forward? That’s how God’s voice speaks.

Spend a few minutes reflecting with Jesus. Have you ever spiritually bullied someone, thinking you knew best for them? Forgiveness is here for you. Have you ever been spiritually bullied? What do you sense God saying to you about that experience today? May the kindness of the Lord lead us all forward.