Perfectionism - Billy Minshall

"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."-Matthew 5:48.

Perfectionism is a real bummer. First of all, it doesn’t really exist because each individual’s idea of what it means to be perfect is different. Second, if I am obsessed with my idea of perfection how can I possibly let God do the heavy lifting in my life? Lastly, perfectionism is boring. It's inauthentic. It does not allow for the messiness of humanity. I have heard artists say that perfectionism is the death of creativity. It’s preplanned and packaged and therefore uninteresting and lifeless. 

I know all of this, but I still struggle with perfectionism. Why? I want to look good. I want people to think I have it together. I want to be present for others "perfectly." Oftentimes, perfectionism mimics my belief in God, showing up with all kinds of phrases that get stuck in my head. “If you are really a follower of Christ, then you will put others first! Look at what Jesus went through! What you’re struggling with is nothing compared to that, so go help someone else and move on. We’re too blessed to be depressed!”

Ugh. When I would get frustrated as a child, I could not articulate what was upsetting me. My mother would say, “go run around the block!” This, of course, did not help. I realize now that I was struggling to be perfect. When things were not perfect, I got frustrated. So frustrated that my ears would turn fire red and I could not see straight. 

Is this what God wants? Is this what the Gospel is saying? No. The word “perfect” in Matthew roughly translates to the word “complete.” And completion only comes from the Grace of a loving God. A God who does not want me to be so self-obsessed that I think I know what it means to be perfect. I must show up messy and imperfect because I am human. That’s literally all that I can do! God knows I am imperfect, and I am also complete.