Is Blood really thicker than Water? - Kelley Barton

A friend mentioned to me that perhaps the common meaning to the phrase “Blood is thicker than water” isn’t what most of us think it is, which is that “family bonds are stronger than friendship”. Some have suggested the phrase has roots in the blood of covenants. Whether it is a spiritual covenant, like God formed with Israel, or battlefield covenant when factions go to war. Blood is certainly involved in both of those instances. A modern definition of covenant is “a formal agreement or promise between two or more parties, which can be legally binding, religiously significant, or relational.”

What then would “water” stand for? Some have suggested it means the amniotic fluid in the womb. That would be the family connection.

This new interpretation of the common phrase flips things around, implying the committed bonds we form with others is (or can be) much stronger than what family ties provide. That resonated with me on many levels.

Our two sons are adopted. You could say our ties with them are a covenant and not water. I also don’t have a healthy relationship with my sisters, and I would consider my close friendship ties stronger than my siblings.

Many of my LGBTQ friends have had family ties severed, or extremely strained, and have formed their new families from those who care about them and make them seem safe. A covenant formed that offers support that family can’t or won’t provide.

Jesus spoke about this also, taking his followers by surprise.

“Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. They stood outside the house and sent in a message, asking for him. A crowd was sitting around Jesus, and they said to him, “Look, your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, and they want you.” Jesus answered, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” He looked at the people sitting around him and said, “Look! Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does what God wants is my brother, my sister, my mother.””
Mark 3:31-35 GNT

It is hard to let go of the hurt we feel from family that has cast us aside, whether its emotional or relational. Our culture puts out messages about the value of family. I’m trying to flip the script on this when those feelings come to my heart, to remember that for me the covenant with those who truly love me (blood) will always be thicker than those who have abandoned me (water). I hope you might find similar solace.