Religious Trauma and the Poor in Spirit by Kelley Barton

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3

Sunday’s message brought a close friend to mind, one who has been on a long journey of healing. She has been working on deconstructing and reconstructing her faith in a way that her family just refuses to understand. When she goes to visit them, she usually feels relieved when she returns home and can distance herself from their cultish version of Christianity. But during her last visit, she told me it felt so pervasive that this time she fell into despair and struggled to claw her way out of it. 

Many of you reading this might understand how she feels. The brainwashing and narrow view some of our families feel comfortable with can be very uncomfortable to be around. Add to that how those family members often don’t think twice about letting us know what they believe, and how they think what we believe is “wrong” or “unbiblical”.

Questions like “Are you walking with the Lord” can sear into the soul, causing instant shame. Comments like “I’m just a servant of the Lord” that comes from someone who so easily denies justice to the oppressed, with their vote, their lack of compassion and in the disgust in their voice when talking about those who have less than they do, can really sting the heart. When it comes from someone we know we should love, our family, it can be harder to shake off.

One thread that gave my friend a sliver of hope was the knowledge that the infliction of this type of trauma stops with her. The fear and closed mindedness will not be passed on to her children. They will never have to endure the undoing of religious trauma. They have, and will, always know they are accepted and loved fully without limits. 

It was so helpful to continue our conversation, after Sunday’s message, by introducing the concept that she is “poor in spirit”. That her feeling of being depleted, experiencing this trauma, made her feel broken. Being “poor in spirit” made her valued by Jesus for a specific blessing.

Brenna talked about admitting there are unhealed areas in our hearts. I would suggest that this state makes us a target of the love Jesus wants to pour into us.

I hope my friend can feel that blessing and love from Jesus. I hope she can feel the love I, and others who support her, are pouring out onto her. I hope she can feel that she belongs to a new family, without the religious trauma and pain. And I hope you can too!

I know this is a long road for my friend and others like her. That these wounds do not heal quickly. They may never fully heal. But the poor in spirit, as Brenna mentioned, can admit there are areas in their hearts that are unhealed and take solace in that knowledge there is a community around them that often feels the same. That has their backs. That sees them as poor in spirit and fiercely loved.

If you struggle to find that love, please reach out to one of us at City Church. We are a radically welcoming community, on the journey towards Jesus. And providing a community to help facilitate healing is a big part of what we long to provide.