Love is hard work - Denia Bradshaw

Last Sunday, Bill White invited to interview CCLB board member Judy Kim at the end of the sermon entitled “The Coin and the Fish.” Judy’s share touched on various matters, including that of when to push (“cause offense” in order to be authentic), and spoke on being loving and honoring those we love. Judy also talked about tough situations and how there are no easy answers when they occur. What stood out to me too, was when Judy said that “love is hard work.” It reminded me of this excerpt from Brené Brown’s Gifts of Imperfection. The quote reads:

 “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each of them - we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.”

 We can only love others as much as we love ourselves. This reminded me of Judy’s share as well (and I paraphrase), “I had to cause offense [when coming out to my family] so I can be loving to my girlfriend and myself.” In a very similar way, this embodies Matthew 5:14-15: 

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.

 We are meant to be our authentic, wholehearted unique selves shining radiantly as children of God. 

Reflecting on the snippet from Brené’s book, Judy’s share, and God’s word about who we are – what is coming up for you? How is love surviving for you?

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV