I Am Judas

This poem was written this week by a friend who is new to City Church. It captures what we’ve been thinking about all week, namely that the dance of the Trinity is always towards inclusion, always towards embrace, always towards blessing. Take some time today to ponder what obstacles you might have inside of you from accepting the invitation into the life of God.

I am Judas

My burden heavy, the sin looming before me and consuming after me

My eyes are down at the table, I can barely swallow this bread. 

My heart had wavered as the silver clinked in my trembling hands

I don’t deserve the kiss of betrayal I gave Him, I don’t deserve the way He washed my feet so tenderly, the way He invited me to break bread at the Table. 

The way He looked at me like I was cherished and known. 

The way He spoke to me, with gentle authority. 

I wanted so desperately to Follow Him. I tried, but I always knew. I wasn’t enough. 

I don’t deserve any of this

For centuries scholars go on to discuss me and debate me

Unpopular to most, yet the truest picture of my last moments: my biggest sin is not that I betrayed Him-The King of Love. My sin is that I believe He and His Love didn’t have the power to forgive a sinner like me. 

I was wrong. The King of Love has the power to forgive All.