Bad behavior or a call for connection by Kelley Barton

In the book “Better Ways To Read The Bible”, by Zach Lambert, on page 47, Zach shares how he use to make up bedtime stories to tell his younger kids. I remembered this, when thinking about Bill’s message on Sunday, specifically in how it can be terrifying to seek forgiveness from a friend (or family member) and also may be terrifying to accept forgiveness.

Here is what Zach wrote.

One story was about a fox named Maverick (I know, now I'm mixing in Top Gun), who steals Cuppy's soccer ball while Cuppy and his friends are playing. After finally tracking down Maverick and getting his ball back, Cuppy asks him why he stole the soccer ball. Maverick says, "I don’t have any friends and no one ever wants to play with me, so I thought if I stole your ball you would have to play with me." Cuppy invites Maverick to play with them, and they all become friends.

 A few weeks after I told that story, one of my kids came home from school and said, "I met a kid like Maverick on the playground today." At first I didn’t realize what he was talking about, but then he reminded me of the Cuppy story. The boy on the playground was disrupting everything a group of boys, including my son, was trying to play. A few of the kids got understandably mad and told the disruptive boy to go away. But it kept happening.

"Then I remembered the story!" my son said. And so he asked the disruptive kid if he wanted to play with the group, and the kid immediately joined in. My son finished his report by proudly stating, “And now we are all friends, just like Cuppy and Maverick!"

 Have you ever thought that the behavior of a friend that caused a rift, was like the Bully who needed a stronger connection to community but didn’t know how to articulate that need? Or in reverse, the person you are offering forgiveness to doesn’t know how to emotionally process it, like the kids who kept having their soccer ball taken by the bully.

 We might want try and take a breath when we are in a conflict with someone, and see if we can sniff out a deeper problem. Either on our side or theirs. And then a solution that works for everyone just might surface. A kindness extended when most would not say it was required. An understanding in the midst of a frustrating conflict.

 Tuck that away in the back of your mind and see if it bubbles to the surface sometime. I’d love to hear about it.